The Art of Tikis
by EpicKoopalings
Summary: What if Donkey Kong Country Returns happened in the Skunk Fu! World instead of the Mushroom World?
1. Prologue: Legend of the TTT

**I own nothing except the story. _Skunk Fu!_ characters belong to Cartoon Saloon and Cartoon Network. The Tiki Tak Tribe belongs to Nintendo.**

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><p>It was nighttime. Master Panda had called all his students at the top of the hill for a campfire story.<p>

"Oh, boy, this oughta be good. Wonder what "urban fairy tale" ol' Pandy has for us this time." The voice came from Rabbit (who else calls Panda "Pandy"?) as he was walking toward the hill with his friends Skunk and Fox.

"Now, Rabbit, it might not be a fairy tale." said Fox.

"Oh, please! Remember the time he told us _the exact location_ of that stupid scroll that could summon Mister Rooster? Guess what! Nobody found it!"

"Aw, c'mon. I'm sure rooster scrolls are hard to find." said Skunk defensively.

"_Anyway_…this should be interesting all the same."

Soon, everyone was gathered around the campfire. At the front stood Master Panda.

"Greetings, students."

"Hello, Master." said mixed replies from the crowd.

Panda gestured to his right, where a wooden stand with a big paper notebook rested. The top sheet was blank. "Tonight, I will tell you the legend of…" Panda grabbed a stick and used it to flip the top sheet revealing four Chinese words written in ink. "…The Tiki Tak Tribe!"

"Ooooohhh."

"Pssshh! 'Tiki Tak Tribe?' Is that the best you can come up with, old man? Tikis aren't even our thing!"

"Rabbit, shush!"

"Thank you, Fox. Anyway, this is a _true_ story," the old bamboo-eater said with a glare at a certain big-footed narcissist. He flipped another sheet. "The Tiki Tak Tribe existed long ago, long before the days of Dragon and I. They plundered the villages-" he said pointing to diagrams of floating tikis with eyes hovering off the ground and carrying a large pile of crescents. "-and made off with all their bananas!"

"_Bananas?_ Come ON! Why would a bunch of stupid tikis want stupid monkey food?"

Fox grabbed Rabbit by the ears and flipped him. "No more interruptions, got it?"

"*Gulp* G-Got it."

"Rabbit does make a good point. It is unknown why they chose this particular food. Some say it was their source of power. You see, the nine senior members of the Tiki Tak Tribe possessed hypnotic powers, which they used to hypnotize the animals into giving them the food without a fight." Panda flipped the paper again, showing diagrams of the tikis spreading a wave of something out from their faces.

Rabbit was about to say something, but stopped himself just in time.

"Nevertheless, the Warriors of Old couldn't let it happen. Bananas made up the majority of the food in the villages, and without them, all the animals would starve. They occasionally had to fight their own friends, as the hypnotic powers made them fight for the tikis. They prevailed, though, and confronted their leader…"

Another flip of the paper, this time showing a giant cylindrical creature.

"Tiki Tong! However, they couldn't defeat him outright, so they were forced to seal him, his tower, and all his minions away forever."

Skunk raised his hand.

"Yes, Skunk?"

"Where's the Tiki Tak Tribe locked up, Master?"

"That, no one can say for sure. But certain rumors have pointed to the Flaming Crater of Mout Firefang!"

Gasps of shock rose from the audience. "Do not worry! I doubt that the rumors are true, but if they are, the Tribe isn't imprisoned the same way Dragon is. Their prison is…'invisible' to say the least. Only the most powerful magic and a sacrifice could free them. Anyway, like I said, the rumors are probably false."

"I hope you all have enjoyed the tale. Good night."

"'Night, Master." Everyone started off to bed. Skunk walked a few feet and hopped up in his tree, Rabbit went back to his den, and everyone else went back to wherever the heck they sleep.

This took place one week ago.


	2. Tikis, Kung Fu, and a Watering Can

It was just another day in the Valley. Of course, you already know something screwy's gonna happen as soon as I say that. Well, it did.

It started with a stream of fire coming out of the Flaming Crater of Mount Firefang. Suddenly, a gigantic wooden seemingly-alive tower rose out of it plus multiple lava rocks came down as well. However, all the animals were too busy doing their own thing to notice. But that didn't last long. As the rocks came down, they broke apart, revealing…tikis?

The weird-looking tikis came down and spread across the Valley. One of them, an odd-looking half-red, half-blue tiki with opposite colored eyelids, black arrow markings where its nose should be, wooden sticks on its head bound with a headband, two skinny, three-fingered twig-like arms, and what looked like teeth jutting out from the bottom, landed near some Ninja Monkeys as they were training, hovering a few feet off the ground.

Of course, they had never seen anything like this before, and they were confused, curious, and slightly scared. The tiki closed its eyes and when it opened them again, they were constantly changing between black and white. Its head sticks and wooden "teeth" started vibrating. Music started playing and a wave of red-and-blue light also emanated from it with red and blue musical notes, clefs, and number signs (#) appearing. All the while the tiki waving its arms in and out.

The Ninja Monkeys were entranced…literally! Their eyes suddenly became white with a black swirl. Across the Valley, most of the other tikis were doing the same thing to the other Monkeys. The hypnotized Monkeys started climbing trees and picking bananas. They started moving toward the tower.

A few minutes later, Skunk was walking near the Bamboo Forest. He had been tasked with watering every flower in the Valley…again.

"This is stupid! Why can't Fox or one of the other girls do this?"

He saw a patch of daisies growing near some hedges and watered them. "There! That should be the last of them!"

Suddenly, over the hedge, he noticed some Ninja Monkeys walking. Skunk hid. He watched them, and noticed that each one was carrying a bunch of bananas and they seemed to be following a floating, wooden tiki. This tiki was brown, had skinny arms that ended in black balls, and what looked like a gong perched above its head. The gong was yellow with a red seven-rayed sun pattern. Its eyes were changing between black and white and the Monkeys were following it.

"What the…" Suddenly, the red and blue tiki stopped at his side and shoved him to the ground by zooming up in his face. The tiki went into the same hypnotizing mode it did with the Monkeys. However, it seemed to have absolutely no effect on Skunk.

"Um…was that supposed to do something?"

The tiki looked confused and its eyes shifted nervously. It played its music again. When it was done, Skunk said, "You know, something about you seems awfully familiar…wait, I've got it! You're the Tiki Tak Tribe, aren't you! My master told me about you! You play that music to…to…"

The tiki looked even more nervous. Skunk looked back at the monkeys led by the gong tiki and noticed their swirling eyes.

He looked back at his tiki and said, "To entertain us!"

The tiki looked relieved.

"Yeah, I really liked that music! Was that kalimba?" The tiki nodded its head (which was all of it) proudly.

"Anyway, would you mind carrying a message for me? You can just tell all your tiki friends THIS IS WHAT I THINK!" Skunk punched the tiki in the head, plowed it into the ground, did some more fancy moves on it, and with a final kung fu kick, sent it flying into the nearby bamboo.

"_That'll_ teach those stupid tikis to try to hypnotize me! Skunk picked up his watering can and started walking away proudly. Suddenly, he froze, his eyes went wide, and he dropped the watering can.

"The Tiki Tak Tribe? _Here?_ Hypnotizing Monkeys…tried to hypnotize me…YAAH! I gotta go tell Master Panda and the others about this!" Skunk ran off.

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><p><strong>Okay, okay, okay. Before you leave a nasty comment, I know my culture. <em>Skunk Fu!<em> is Chinese and the Tiki Tak Tribe is African. I get that. I just thought it would be fun to put these awesome tikis in this even more awesome show! Got it? Okay, see you next chapter!**


	3. Rabbit's Den

Skunk ran off to tell Panda that somehow, the Tiki Tak Tribe was here. However, he didn't get very far when he was ambushed by Tiki Goons! They didn't try to hypnotize him, but they did try to attack him. Skunk did some punches and kicks and smashed the Goons into nothing.

"Woah, woah, woah, wait… I can just smash and destroy these guys? Rabbit would love this!"

Finally, after a few more Goons and one or two Tiki Buzzes, Skunk made his way to the main training area. However, no matter where he looked, he couldn't find Panda.

"Oh, no… I wonder where Master Panda went. Maybe Rabbit or Fox can help me." Skunk didn't know where Fox was, but he decided he should start with Rabbit's den. So, he went there. He met with more Buzzes as well as a few Tiki Torches. These should have been a problem (as they were on fire and everything), but Skunk had taken his fans with him in case he got too hot watering the flowers. He simply used the art of the Fan-Fan to extinguish their flames and then smashed them like normal.

However, the young warrior was met with a _real_ problem guarding the entrance to Rabbit's den: A Tiki Doom (these are the oversized Goons that take three hits to kill). Of course, Skunk tried the direct approach, but the thick wooden body was too much for his hands and feet to handle. Thus, he almost got chomped in half for his troubles.

"How am I gonna beat this thing?" Skunk got an idea. He reached into his…um…what do I call it? I don't want to go to the trouble of typing out "the magical space that pocketless cartoon characters access by reaching behind their backs"…oh, drat, I just did…*Ahem* Anyway, Skunk reached behind his back and pulled out a small tuft of white fur. He began rubbing it. He mumbled to himself, "I know I said I would only use this in emergencies…" Suddenly, Skunk's fingertips started sparking with electricity. He put the fur away. "But I'm pretty sure this qualifies as an emergency!" Mimicking a move he saw Rabbit do, Skunk charged up a ball of electricity. It wasn't quite as big as the one that Rabbit had made, but it was big enough. Skunk threw the ball at the Doom. They made contact and there was a boom and a lot of smoke. When it cleared, the tiki had completely disintegrated! Stepping over the ash, Skunk entered Rabbit's layer.

In the den, Skunk immediately saw Rabbit beating up a Monkey dummy. Skunk shuddered after remembering the time _he_ was the dummy. Then, he got his priorities straight.

"R-Rabbit!"

"Squirt? What are you doing here? You better not mess up my dummy again, or I'm gonna- Great Wall of China! What the heck is that?"

Skunk looked where Rabbit's gaze was located and was horrified to see the red and blue kalimba-playing tiki! The tiki glared at Skunk, rubbed its forehead where Skunk had kicked it, then turned towards Rabbit and went into its hypnotizing mode. Before Skunk could warn Rabbit, the latter was hypnotized. However, Kalimba did something that Skunk found surprising: He seemed to go _inside_ Rabbit. Rabbit closed his eyes and when he opened them again, they were back to normal. However, Skunk knew he was still hypnotized, and judging by the way Rabbit suddenly scowled at him and assumed a fighting position, he had a pretty good idea about what Rabbit had been hypnotized to do.

"Now, now, Rabbit. Let's not just attack each other like mindless animals, even though you pretty much are one…"

"Shut up, skunk! Master Tiki Tong will reward me nicely for your capture."

Skunk stopped and stared. "_Master_ Tiki Tong? _Reward_ you _nicely_? Who are you and what have you done with Rabbit?"

Rabbit cried out and charged at Skunk. Skunk blocked and kicked out. His foot struck Rabbit in the chest, but this didn't seem to faze him. Rabbit tried a jumping kick, but Skunk dodged and punched Rabbit in the face, knocking him onto his back. Rabbit got up immediately and tried a spin attack. Skunk didn't have time to react, so he was hit. He slammed into the den wall. Rabbit charged at him again, but Skunk did an upwards kick and sent Rabbit flying into the ceiling.

"Aw, man, I just fixed this ceiling!" Gravity caught up with him and he fell back onto the floor. Rabbit was in pain now, but he shook it off and ran at Skunk for the third time. Skunk jumped over Rabbit and kung fu-chopped him in the back. Rabbit got up and started showing off. He punched the air in rapid succession, did a few kicks, and spun upside-down in place. When he got back up, Skunk merely jumped at him and kicked him into his treasure chest. Rabbit struggled to get up, then looked at the chest and got an idea.

The possessed bunny snickered, "Time to kick it up a notch!" Rabbit opened his chest, dug around inside it for a second, then pulled out his favorite weapon, the bow lance. "How do ya like me now, stinky boy?" Rabbit twirled the lance in the air, and then threw it at Skunk, who ducked, sending the lance to smash the Monkey dummy. While Skunk was staring at the broken wood that could've all too easily been him, Rabbit punched him out of the way and picked up the lance. He threw it again, but it was dodged again, leaving it to hit a wall, bounce up, and smash a paper lantern on the ceiling. Rabbit dived for the weapon, but Skunk got there first, picked it up, threw it back in the chest, and unleashed an impressive combo of punches, kicks, and chops on Rabbit. It ended with a punch to the face. Rabbit staggered over to his bed, did some dramatic "hurt" poses, then collapsed onto the bed, unconscious.

The battle was over.

There was nothing but silence for a few seconds, and then Kalimba rose out of Rabbit, having also received a beating through his host. The tiki was seeing stars, and was dizzyingly waving its arms (even though it technically couldn't lose its balance as it had no legs or feet).

"You know what? I've just about had it with you!" Kalimba looked at Skunk as if seeing him for the first time. Skunk started walking toward it. "If you thought this and the beating from before were bad, you haven't seen anything yet…" Kalimba got a definite scared look on its face, and it had good reason to, for Skunk jumped at it, then unleashed the most violent set of moves he could conjure up. In fact, the moves were _so_ violent, that the camera panned to outside of Rabbit's den. There were punching sounds, billows of smoke, and symbols such as stars and number signs rising from the opening until with an attack that just sounded "final", Kalimba was sent flying clear out of Rabbit's den and into the distance, where it disappeared in a twinkle of light after flying far enough.

Skunk proudly stepped out of the den and said to himself, "I have a pretty good feeling _that_ tiki won't be bothering _me_ ever again!" Skunk looked back at the sleeping Rabbit and said, "It'll take a while for Rabbit to wake up. I'd better see if the others are okay." Skunk started back toward the main Valley.


	4. Battle at the Lake

**Sorry it took so long with the new chapter...though I doubt anyone's actually _reading_ this as there are currently no reviews. If you _are_ reading this, enjoy the next chapter.**

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><p>Skunk ran as fast as he can back to the main area. However, he was met with an unwelcome sight: Ninja Monkeys! But that's not all: There was one Monkey in the center, with a strong-looking tiki (a Tiki Tank) on either side. On the other sides of the Tanks was one more Monkey each. So, it was three Monkeys and two Tanks.<p>

"The Monkeys were hypnotized earlier, so that must be the case now. Hmph. Time to show these guys what I can really do!" Skunk charged and whacked the center Monkey. Then he chopped at a Tank. Unfortunately, his hand struck the stone top and all the damage that was done was to Skunk.

"Ow!" However, the center was wooden. Skunk aimed another chop and the Tiki broke in half! It disintegrated a second later. The second hypnotized Monkey punched Skunk. Skunk reacted with a spinning kick and the Monkey was K.O.'d.

The first Monkey had already recovered and was gaining up on Skunk with the other Monkey and Tank. Skunk aimed a kick and smashed the Tank, then back-flipped and kicked the Monkeys. The first one was knocked out, while the other flew onto the tablecloth that Skunk and Panda ate at when it was dinnertime. The cloth was weighed down with rocks, and the Monkey flew onto the center. Suddenly, the Monkey fell down a Rabbit-sized hole, taking the cloth with it!

"Huh? Oh, yeah. We never filled in that burrow after we kicked Rabbit out. Hmm…I've gotta get help for our little 'tiki' problem. I know! I'll check the lake!"

And so, Skunk set off in the direction of the lake. He met with not only Goons and Buzzes, but Tanks and Monkeys, too. On a few occasions, Skunk had to travel into the river to get to the lake faster. Fortunately, there were no tikis to be found here. _Un_fortunately, there were Monkeys wearing goggles and snorkels and armed with harpoons. Skunk used the art of No Lung Fu to dispatch _these_ threats.

Eventually, he made it to the lake. Mr. Fish and Frog were playing a game of underwater tag. Snake and Mantis were also there. Even the Bees were present! Their hive had been accidentally destroyed (again) so they had decided to build a new one near the lake. Mr. Fish's bowl was on the shore, fully filled. Obviously, he planned to travel soon.

Fish saw Skunk first. "Hey there, Skunk! Care for a game of tag with us?"

Frog interrupted. "Skunk can't breathe underwater!"

"Oh, it's okay. I taught him No Lung Fu."

Frog jumped out of the water. "Really? Great! Then yeah, you should come in! The water's fine!"

"I'd love to, but listen you guys, have you seen any tikis about?"

"Tikis?" This came from Snake. "Um…no. Why?"

Just then, Skunk noticed three small faces poking out from behind a tree. They were tikis! They seemed to be shaped like maracas. Eyes and mouths were on the "balls" on top. The one in the center had a skinny tan stick, reddish-brownish eyelids, floating eyebrows that were the same color, and the top was decorated with purple feathers and a gold button in the center. The tiki on its left was short, with a stick that had black and brown zigzag patterns. Its head had red feathers going down like hair. It definitely looked angry. Its eyelids were grey and its eyebrows were yellowish like its head. The tiki on the purple one's right had green feathers with an orange zigzag pattern on its forehead. It had head-color eyelids and light green eyebrows. Its stick was striped brown and white.

The three Maracas came out from their hiding spots and closed their eyes briefly, and when they opened them again, they were shifting black and white like Kalimba's were! They also shook back and forth like regular maracas do. The same music started playing out of nowhere, but instead of kalimba music, it had maraca music mixed in. Red, blue, and purple light emanated from the first tiki, red, blue, and yellow light came from the second one, and the third one produced red, blue, and green light. Musical notes, Clef notes, and # signs appeared in all five colors accompanied by the sparkles.

The Green Maraca hypnotized Frog and the Bees, the Red Maraca hypnotized Snake and Mantis, and the Purple Maraca hypnotized Mr. Fish. Frog growled at Skunk (somehow producing teeth for a second), Fish looked out menacingly from the surface, and Snake slithered alongside Fish. Green, Purple, and Red then dropped into Frog, Fish, and Snake, respectively.

Skunk thought, "Oh, great…"

Frog and Fish went back into the lake while Snake, the Bees, and Mantis stepped, floated, and slithered ahead.

The Bees formed into an angry face and cried out as one, "We're gonna getcha, man!"

Skunk cried out and ran away as he dodged the Bees as they flew down and stuck in the ground like a trail of arrows.

Skunk ran into some bushes. The Bees formed into a question mark, then a giant eye. They flew off in another direction. Skunk breathed a sigh of relief. Then he felt something tapping his leg. Skunk looked down and saw Mantis trying to attack him.

"Die, Skunk! You can't win against the Tiki Tak Tribe!"

Skunk reached down and picked Mantis up. "Wow. Even when you're hypnotized by an evil tiki spirit, you're _still_ a lousy fighter!"

"I dare ya to come over here and say that! I'll tear ya limb from-"

Skunk drop kicked Mantis, sending him flying into the bushes and also knocking him out.

Skunk had bigger problems, though. He stopped what he was doing, and listened…he suddenly ducked as Snake shot out of some bushes and landed in some opposite shrubs.

"Forget it, Skunk! You can't defeat me! I'm too good at espionage!"

Skunk dodged Snake as he flew in and out of the bushes, almost biting him. Skunk thought he had lost Snake when the Bees returned. They formed into a dragon and chased after Skunk. He suddenly got an idea. He took out his fans, created a mini tornado with them, sucked all the Bees into it, then let it fly.

"Not cool, maaaaaaan!"

Skunk called after them, "Sorry, Bees! I hope you can forgive me when this is all over!" Unfortunately, he didn't see Snake at his feet, but it was too late anyway, for the reptile quickly coiled itself around the mammal. "It _is_ over! Mmmmm…Lunchtime!"

"L-Lunchtime? But it's 3:00 in the afternoon!"

"Whatever!"

Skunk staggered out to the lake shore. "Aw, come on! Y-you don't wanna eat me! Have you ever tasted skunk before? Yeeuck! We're nasty and bitter inside thanks to our stink."

"Looks like I'll find out for myself!"

Skunk sighed. "Looks like there's only one way out of this."

"Yes: a slow death!"

"Unfortunately for you, no."

Snake looked confused. "I…I don't understand…"

"Snake, I hope you can forgive me too."

"Forgive you for what?"

Without warning, Skunk spit in Snake's face. Snake screamed like a little girl. Instantly he got off of Skunk and started thrashing around in the dust. "GET IT OFF! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"Hold still, Snake! This is for your own good!" Skunk jumped into the rapidly-growing dust cloud and beat up Snake. With a final attack, Skunk sent Snake flying up into the sky.

"_That_ should do it! Oh, right! Frog and Fish!"

"That's _Mr._ Fish to you!" Skunk looked back and saw the two aquatic creatures glaring at him from the surface of the lake. They both dipped down under. Skunk took a deep breath and dived in. Once he was down at the bottom, he blew an air bubble around his head, just like he did with the Monkeys in the river he had to go through earlier. Frog and Fish raced toward him. Skunk punched Frog in the gut and slapped Fish down. Frog recovered and kicked Skunk, followed by Fish punching him into the air. Once Skunk was back in, he blew another bubble.

Suddenly, a starfish hit Skunk on the cheek. The starfish blew Skunk a raspberry and sank to the floor.

_So, _that's _their game…_ thought Skunk as he picked up the starfish and threw it back. He heard a thwack and Frog yelped in the distance. Some more starfish flew at him. Skunk merely stopped them in mid…er…water with his fists and threw them back. Each one hit Frog. Skunk raced toward Frog and punched him in the gut again, but he didn't stop there; he attacked Frog for a few more moments, then kicked him into the air. Skunk leaped out and kicked Frog back down. The latter landed headfirst in the sand on the shore and tried to pull himself out. Skunk dropped back into the water.

"Never send an amphibian to do a fish's job." This came from Fish, and Skunk knew he wouldn't go down so easily. Nevertheless, Skunk and Fish clashed for a few minutes. Fish may have been more familiar with his element, but Skunk was bigger and had fingers. He went down to the river floor, grabbed some kelp and twisted it into a whip. He thwacked Fish with it. He thwacked Fish a few more times, and then sent him out of the water. Skunk leaped up again, met Fish in midair, and with a final sideways kick, the job was done.

Fish bounced off a rock (the rock Skunk sat on in "The Art of No Lung Fu") and plunked into his bowl. He floated to the top of the bowl upside down, but he wasn't dead, just unconscious.

Just then, Frog finally yanked himself out of the sand, staggered backwards, fell on top of the bowl, and passed out, his body being on the left side with his short arms and really long legs draping over the sides.

Snake then fell back down, but he was already K.O.'d. He landed on Frog's long legs on the right side of the opening of the bowl.

Skunk looked at the three defeated animals, then the Maraca tikis rose out of their respective hosts, seeing stars.

"So, you thought you could defeat me using sneaking and water? Well, you thought wrong!" Skunk ran up to the scared instruments, jumped at them, and took turns beating them up. When he was done, he whipped out his fans, created a small tornado like he did with the Bees, and sent the Maracas flying away.

"Let's see…how many hypnotizing tikis did Panda say there were? Ten? No, nine! And I've already gone through four of them! Still, this has been pretty hard… I hope I can find a way to save my friends." Skunk went back to the dojo.


End file.
